Posted by SocialJusticeBrat | archived on May 14, 2023, 2:45 p.m.
Are you sat browsing this post in your expensive but dreary office inbetween tedious meetings with well paying but tedious clients, the visceral thrills of arguing with reddit degenerates hiding your bald patch and your chronic ennui? Well have I got the deal for you. One manic pixie dream girl to turn your life right around and for much cheaper than a convertable (actually maybe not). With a pretty good resemblance to Zooey Deschanel and a commitment to turn up to your date on rollerskates soon your life will be a series of wacky yet didactic and life affirming mishaps. Get thrown out of museums for imitating statues. Get chased through the park by some huge thugs who she accidently flirted with. Spend most dates in high stakes competitions, be they bizzare twists on classic boardgames, karaoke contests in private booths or the classic game of rum tum tugger. If you are really special you could even tame her and she will turn up to your date in nice cocktail dress and earrings- unlikely though. Please apply by DM if you need this in your life outlining your need.